


The Shield is NOT a Toboggan

by Erica_T



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Fun, Gen, I Blame Tumblr, Winter, sort of, turns romancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-04 16:35:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1083231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erica_T/pseuds/Erica_T
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captain America's shield is not to be used as a toboggan.  Or some other fun sucking explanation.  And so another solution must be found.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Shield is NOT a Toboggan

**Author's Note:**

> So. Last week tumblr was going nuts over the release of...I think it was Avengers Annual? Now I can't remember. But, there were a lot of pretty amusing wintery Christmasy things that seemed to be going on in it, and one of them was this image, that gave me a plot bunny. http://erica-t.tumblr.com/post/69041238895/plotbunny-darcy-examines-caps-shield-and-tests  
> So...I wrote the plot bunny. Even though I still have to finish Love Actually...and start actually typing my fic exchange fic.  
> It turns slightly romancy at the end, for which I will not apologize.

On a sunny, wintery Saturday before Christmas in New York, casual listeners in the rooms of Stark Tower might have heard the following argument:   

"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But, it's perfect!  Stuff just slides off it like hot butter in a frying pan, it'll be almost frictionless, and it's not much heavier than some of the sleds I had growing up, in fact, it'd take my additional grown up girl weight and abuse just fine!"  
  
"Darcy, you are not using my shield as a toboggan.  End of story."  
  
Darcy put the hand not holding the shield on her hip, and she pouted.  Steve hated it when she pouted.  Hated it, because it usually always got her what she wanted, whether he wanted to agree to it or no.  He crossed his arms over his chest and stood resolute.   
  
"That's not going to work."  
  
"Sure it will.  You can't stand it when I pout.  It hits you right in the 1940's."    
  
"The 1940's?"  try as he might, Steve couldn't help but smile at that.  She talked like that all the time, another thing that usually meant she got her way.   She winked at him saucily.   
  
"Sure.  All the polite 'yes ma'am's' and being a good old fashioned boy raised right by his mama.  It hits you right in your gentlemanly feels when I pout at you, and I am not above using it to my advantage."    
  
"Well, it's not hitting me in the '1940's feels' right now.  It's not happening."    
  
"Please?  Pretty please with sugar and a cherry on it?"  
  
"No.  Give it back."    
  
"Oh...you're no fun anymore."    
  
Darcy pouted harder, but dutifully handed the shield back to Steve, albeit with a reluctant air, and he had to tug on it a couple times before she let go.  That was the moment that Clint wandered in.  He looked between them and sighed.    
  
"Alright.  What'd he do this time, li'l bit?"    
  
Darcy sighed dramatically and flopped onto a sofa.  
  
"He won't let me use his shield as a toboggan.  Says it'll be bad for the image, or too conspicuous, or some other fun sucking big word.  I even promised not to pull a Chevy Chase and crash into a WalMart.  He doesn't get that reference though, so even that wasn't much fun."  She aimed a bigger pout at Clint, who grinned and turned to Steve.  
  
"Aw...and she even promised not to turn it into scrap metal, Cap."  
  
"Don't you start.  If she asked to use your crossbow to start a snowball fight, would you let her?"    
  
Clint seemed to be considering this idea, and Steve gave up.    
  
"Nevermind, don't answer that.  I'm sure I don't want to know."  
  
"It would be a wicked snowball fight."    
  
Clint flopped next to her and slung an arm around her shoulders.  
  
"Now, I'll tell you what, li'l bit.  This sounds to me like a good problem to pose to crazy uncle Tony."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Sure.  I got ten says he's got something cooking in the labs that will kick Cap's shield seven ways to Sunday, and we can probably even paint it up nice and shiny for you."  
  
Darcy tapped her finger against her lips and came to a decision.  
  
"I'm not taking that bet.  JARVIS!"  
  
 _"Yes, Miss Lewis."_    
  
"Tony's workshop.  Call it."    
  
 _"Yes, Miss Lewis."_  
  
AC/DC blared over the speakers for a moment, making them all wince, before it was abruptly cut off.  The sudden silence was followed quickly by Stark's indignant yelp.  
  
 _"Hey!  JARVIS what have I told you!"_  
  
"Tony."  Darcy interrupted the impending tirade.  "Tobogganing."  
  
 _"Tobogganing."_  
  
"Tobogganing.  What have you got?"  
  
 _"Rubbermaid lids and silicone wax."_ He answered without a second beat.  
  
"Rubbermaid lids?"  
  
 _"And silicone wax.  Trust me.  I'm putting in a request through R+D for you to run product testing.  You can get your wax in...20 minutes."_  
  
"Excellent.  JARVIS, put out a memo.  'Avengers Assemble: Central Park in half an hour, bring a Rubbermaid lid.'"    
  
She stood and hauled Clint to his feet.    
  
"C'mon, let's go.  Are you coming, Captain Stick in the Mud?"    
  
Steve sighed, but followed gamely.  After all, this sounded like fun.  And knowing Darcy, it would be. 

 

* * *  
  
  
And so it was, that forty minutes later, the entire team was lined up on the top of a hill in Central Park all standing holding lids from assorted Rubbermaid storage boxes, as Darcy finished spraying them down with the top secret bottle of awesome requisitioned from Stark Industries.  She finished spraying hers and stood next to Steve at the end of the line.  
  
"Alright folks!  We are ready to test the substance!  Ready!"  They all put their lids on the ground and arranged themselves on them with as much dignity as was possible while wearing bulky winter clothing and sitting down on plastic box lids.  Darcy wished she could take pictures of Natasha trying to do it with grace.    
  
"Set!"  They all dug their hands into the snow at their sides and hauled back.  "Annndd!  Go!"    
  
For the next five minutes, the air was filled with the whoops and yells of seven assorted human adults, one Norse God of Thunder and the faint smirk of Natasha Romanov, because she would never do something as undignified as whoop.    
  
At the bottom of the hill, they fell over each other when they finally reached a stop, grinning and slapping each other on the back.  Tonay was loudly proclaiming that silicone wax was going to be a number one best seller, while Thor was declaring that this was the greatest amusement he'd yet to have on Earth.    
  
They had all started trouping back up the hill when the kids started appearing.  
  
"That was awesome!'  
  
"Is that a box lid?  That's so cool!"  
  
"Can we try?"

"Can you do that to my sled?"    
  
Over the clamour, Darcy heard Pepper appeal for some safety rules, and after a moment, Steve raised his Captain's voice.  
  
"Okay!  Rules, listen up!  Anyone smaller than this," he held a hand to his hip, "must ride with someone bigger, either a brother or a sister or an adult.  Anyone taller can have their own sled waxed, with the permission of a parent.  If you do not have a parent present, we will not wax your sled under any circumstances.  See this lady over here," he pointed to Darcy, who brandished her cans of wax, "for sled waxing.  If you don't have a parent present to give permission, sorry kids, but there'll be enough to share.  Okay?"    
  
There was a chorus of cheering, and Steve was suddenly swarmed with kids measuring themselves against him.  Others peeled off to find parents knowing that they were tall enough, and then more did the same when it proved that they were actually tall enough.    
  
The ones that were obviously too small either waited for older siblings to return, or started tugging on pant legs to beg for rides.  
  
Both Steve and Pepper gave up their lids to kids who didn't have a parent present and they zoomed happily down the slope, while Thor and Tony both took a couple of smaller kids down, screaming with laughter the whole way down.  Bruce took one child down, then gave his lid over to another kid who took over sharing the lid, and Jane went down with a little girl who squealed the whole way down.  Clint took a couple of little boys down at the same time, much to their delight, and Natasha was asked quietly by a serious looking little girl if she would give her just one ride, because she was her favourite.     
  
Soon enough, older kids starting returning with parents in tow to confirm that permission was given, and Pepper finished up a phone call to come over and help Darcy with the spray.    
  
A raucous cheer went up over the hillside when Happy appeared with a sled full of Rubbermaid lids, some big enough to fit two comfortably, and kids started pairing off for them after Darcy or Pepper sprayed them.  He'd also brought a few more cans.  
  
Once they were done spraying down lids and assorted sleds, Darcy took a look around at the assortment of people, adult, Avenger and child going up and down the hill.  All measurements taken, Steve had snagged another lid and was developing a line up of young kids who all wanted to go down with him.  Tony was showboating for a gaggle of older kids and Thor was storytelling of some great Winter battle to a slew of kids that were taking a break.  The rest of the Avengers were dutifully riding down with the younger kids and monitoring for injuries (ahem, Bruce) and Pepper could be heard on the phone order up a truck of hot chocolate and cookies.   The hill was teeming with laughing people and happy faces.    
  
Clint appeared beside her, lid a the ready, and a couple of kids hanging off his arms.   
  
"Better than Cap's shield?"  
  
"You bet!"  She grinned at him and headed off with her lid to take another run at the hill, with a little girl that had appeared at her elbow with big eyes and a happy smile.    
  
* * *

  
Later, much later, after there had been a reporter on scene and photographers, both professional and amateur, snapping pictures of all the smiling faces, and many tired bodies were headed back to homes where a hot dinner was waiting for them, they were packing up lids and spray bottles and heading back to the Tower.  
  
Darcy stood at the top of the hill with her lid hanging from her fingers, contemplating one last run down in the fading light.    
  
She felt, more than heard him coming up behind her.  She turned and smiled at him.  His cheeks were rosy from the cold and he was grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Hey Darcy."    
  
"Did you have fun?"  
  
"Yes, actually.  This was a great idea.  I think those kids had the best day of their lives."  
  
"Me too.  Did you see the following that Natasha had?  I don't think she knew what to do with them at first."  
  
"All girls too."  
  
"Of course.  Positive, ass kicking female role model, it's only natural.  Pepper and Jane had followings too, that was too cute."    
  
"So...Tony's said something about bulk ordering pizzas and watching some movie called 'Christmas Vacation'.  It sounds like that's the thing you were talking about that I didn't get earlier."    
  
"It is.  That sounds excellent. I'll be right there."    
  
She set her lid down on the ground and eyed her path of descent.  
  
"You going down again?"  
  
"Yep.  Just one more."    
  
"Wanna race?"    
  
He held up his own lid with a grin.  She laughed and nodded.  
  
"You're on, oh captain, my captain.  Prepare to have your ass kicked."  
  
"Oh yeah?  Bring it on, lab monkey."  
  
"Ooh, smack talk, I like it.  Last one down's a rotten egg!"    
  
They were neck and neck for most of the way down, Darcy whooping and laughing and tossing snow at Steve to knock him off his game.  It didn't work though, because at the last moment, he turned the tables on her, and reached out an arm, snagged her around the waist and sent them both tumbling the rest of the way down the hill, until they were lying in the snow laughing, Darcy's hair a dark contrast to the snow.  She poked him in the chest.  
  
"That's cheating."  
  
"No, that's a tie."  
  
"It's still cheating, I was going to win."  
  
"You were not."  
  
"Sure I was.  I'm lighter, I was edging you out."    
  
"Keep telling yourself that."    
  
She tossed a handful of snow at him, and he laughed, rolling to the side onto his back in the snow.  She levered herself up and over him.  
  
"Hey Steve?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
He had a moment to look at her, and then she was kissing him.  Steve returned it immediately, using the arm still around her waist to pull her on top of him.    
  
If some lingering photographer happened to snap a quick shot and get a generous bonus for it...well, it is Christmas.


End file.
